Becoming a mom changed my perspective on a lot of things. I see the world differently; I understand the world differently. Things that used to matter don’t matter any more. And things I never thought about cross my mind daily.
I go to parks to watch my son play on the slide and to push him on the swings. It’s no longer where I go to relax- escape from the world.
The sole purpose of the pool is no longer to lay on a lawn chair and tan my skin. It’s a wondrous, amazing, dangerous world. An adventure for my two year old.
I see the world in a different light. I see it through the eyes of a child and it is beautiful.
I see it with “parent eyes” and it is terrifying. Terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.
This time of year has always been magical. The calm, quiet of the snow falling outside; the shining white lights of the Christmas tree, reflecting off the window; counting your blessings and being grateful for each and everyone of them.
Christmas time is so special, it always has been but even more-so now. Such a time to reflect on our beliefs; on our savior who was born of a virgin.
This time of year now- now that I’m a mom- is even more beautiful and magical and heartbreaking.
I find my thoughts gravitating towards the story of Jesus’ birth-focusing on Mary.
Mary: sweet, innocent, young Mary.
She was so brave and courageous. So humble and full of humility. I picture myself in her shoes-knowing I am going to give birth to the son of God, the savior of the world. Knowing that I am going to give birth to a tiny baby boy who holds so much responsibility; who is going to die for all of mankind.
As a mother I wonder how she did it. I wonder if she was afraid-or just honored to hold such a responsibility. Was she angry to know that her precious son was to be crucified or did she understand Gods plan for her, for her son? I cannot even begin to comprehend the multitude of emotions she must have felt. I am so grateful for her example, for her faith.
To have the faith of Mary. . . How would that be?